Ted

Yes, I saw it. Yes, I laughed. A lot. 

There have been two big hits this month in movies. One, Magic Mike-which I will not be seeing. For an already explained reason of why, look at this blog http://melissajenna.com/2012/06/30/50-shades-of-magic-mike-in-which-i-am-very-uncool/ (It'll also tell you why I'm not reading 50 Shades of Gray). The other movie being Ted, which I had every intention of seeing -and finally accomplished the goal this past week. Seriously, I've been trying to see it since it came out and it's been sold out at every theater. 

I may or may not have raced some fratty daddies to the ticket booth to insure that I would get a ticket to the movie. 

Anyways. The plot line:

Little Johnny wants nothing more to be friends with the neighborhood kids, but he can't seem to fit in. One Christmas morning he wakes up to find a new friend waiting for him under the tree. Noooo, it's not a puppy- its a teddy bear! John names the bear Ted and declares that the bear is now his best friend, Ted responds with an animated "I love you". One night he makes a life-changing wish asking that Ted come to life so they can be friends forever. Badda-bing, badda-boom. what do ya know, there happens to be a shooting star and the next morning Ted is alive. Flash forward and a 30 year old John (played by Mark Wahlberg) and his teddy bear (Seth MacFarlane) are sitting on the couch getting high. Johns dating Lori (Mila Kunis) and she graciously puts up with the two acting childish. ...for a while. On their 4 year anniversary Lori gives John an ultimatum- her or the bear. Of course, John chooses her but is trying to show Ted that they can still be Thunder Buddies despite the distance. Mess up after mess up Lori sees where Johns loyalty lies and is forced to make a decision she doesn’t want to make. Oh! I forgot to mention there is a severely twisted man and his son on the lookout to get Ted. They love that he’s a talking bear and want him for their own. It gets creepy towards the end of the movie-and ultimately this brings Ted, Lori, and John back together. 

That may have told you more than you wanted- but not in to much detail. I left out quite a bit so you can still see it if you want! 

My thoughts:

Coming from the creator of Family Guy, I was expecting the movie to be a bit more ‘filling’? I’m not sure if that’s the right way to put it. The comedy was basically exactly like Family Guy, but for 2 hours. I wish it would have varied. Without the different plot lines of the different shows, the comedy became predictable and boring. There were many one-liners that I thought were awesome and the Thunder Buddies song had the whole theater cracking up. The part when Ted is throwing a party and they’re watching Family Guy, pause it and Ted’s response is “Oh come onnn. I don’t sound that much like Peter Griffin”, was indeed hilariously ironic. 

The end of the movie was a little more dramatic than I was expecting, especially since I thought it was a comedy through and through. I guess the writers felt that there needed to be something more to the movie. Although I would have been find if it had taken a different twist. And can we please never ask Wahlberg to do a Boston accent again. It seemed that he forgot he was suppose to have one half the time, so when he did have one-it was extra annoying. Perhaps he was good at it-but lets face it, Boston accents aren’t cute on anyone. As for the way over done innuendoes, ehhh-makin me blush. But I knew that would happen.

Overall I’d give it a 3.5/5.

That seems fair. If the accent wasn’t there, it probably would have scored higher. It really killed it for me.

<<ps. Anyone else find this funny? 

Next movie-The Dark Knight Rises.

Woohoo! 

Until then, 

Shelby

Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter

Last week I failed at my New Movie Monday blog. But I did see a movie on Thursday and it’s one that I’m not to thrilled to say that I spent money on. 

Seriously? I thought that it was going to be decent. A slight twist on a historical figure that we all know and love. And yes, it was. But it was done poorly. 

Let’s start with the plot line. If you’ve been living under a rock, you may not know that history books left out so much when teaching us about Abraham Lincoln. Did you know that his mother did not die from ‘milk sickness’ but rather, a vampire bite? Me either. And thus starts Abrahams quest to kill the vampire that killed his mother. He’s taught everything he needs to know about killing vampires by his mentor, Henry. And he has quite a few close calls. I had no idea that he led such an exciting life on the edge prior to entering politics! Did you know that the South was ran by vampire slave holders and they’re the ones that wanted slavery? Yea, the books failed to tell us that one too. Armed with a silver ax that was specially made for Abe, he was able to defeat the vampires in the south, win the war, and thus put an end to slavery. Thank you, Mr. Lincoln.

Benjamin Walker does a fantastic job at portraying Abe Lincoln. So, in no way am I dissing on his acting skills. In fact, it’s probably one of the only things I enjoyed about the film besides the one liners (I’m a sucker for one liners). The special effects and graphics were ridiculous at times. Like when the horse and carriage break through the vampires house, and then ride away into the night? Tell me you didn’t find that to be a bit over the top. The fiery train tracks?...for a little bit I really thought that scene was all about the little engine that could (too bad it didn’t make it. Otherwise that would have been two stories that we had grown up on that misinformed us of what really happened!). The ax seemed to have a fountain of blood that constantly spewed from it long after a kill and he tossed it around as if it was a stick. I don’t mean in the way where there was cleverly calculated tossing like a baton, but in the fact that he tumbles with it quite often and never seems to get hurt. That doesn’t happen bro. You get cut when things like that happen. I feel as if characters were introduced but never fully developed or relationships were learned but then laid there lifeless. It’s as if there wasn’t enough to go off of. 

At one point, I felt that it would be more fun to throw myself down the stairs at the movie theater than to continue watching the movie. There just wasn’t enough for me and by the time that we got to the bulk of the movie, they had lost my interest. To many action scenes and flashbacks in the beginning gave me nothing. Therefore, when the actual story started taking place, I was bored and ready to go. 

At one point my friend Ben leaned over and said “If Abraham Lincoln was such a bad a, how did he get popped off in a theater?” Awkward for us when right after the President won the war he’s in a dialogue with Henry and his wife, Mary, yells “Abe, hurry up! we’re going to be late to the theater”. We were definitely the only four people to crack up in the movie. 

Final verdict? I’m sure the book is much better than the movie. It always is. If you must go see it, please tell me that you have deals at your theater so you can only see it for $3? Any more and it’s not worth it. Wait till it’s out in redbox. Better yet, just save that dollar for something really good. Like Hunger Games. That’s good. 

Until the next New Movie Monday Post, 

Shelby 

Sweeney Todd

For my first “New Movie Monday” post, I shall be reviewing the work of Tim Burton, director of Sweeney Todd. 

What a way to kick off this part of the blog! I enjoy a good musical from time to time and have always heard that this is a grand one. And to an extent I agree, I just don’t do well with gruesome things. I guess I should have read the sub title on the cover a little better,“The Demon Barber of Fleet Street”. I suppose it would have told me a little more about the movie and I wouldn’t have gone in completely blind. 

Brief summary 

Todd and his friend, Anthony, are on their way back to London from a trip. Kicking off the movie with a catchy song, I was hooked. “

“There's a hole in the world like a great black pit and the vermin of the world inhabit it and its morals aren't worth what a pig could spit and it goes by the name of London.”

If you watch it, you’ll hear the catchiness. Promise. Anyways... Todd wonders into his old apartment where he meets “Mrs. Lovett, the owner of the shop below the apartment where he and his family use to live. There’s also a catchy song during this time. I loved it. Mrs. Lovett tells Mr. Todd that his wife took arsenic and his daughter is in the care of Judge Turpins’. Devastating news to Mr. Todd. Oh right, he’s a barber as well. which is very important to the story. Mr. Todd starts to come up with a plan to kill the man who is responsible for the loss of his wife and the absence of his daughter. The two new comrades go to the town square where there is a shave off between Mr. Todd and another barber. Mr. Todd wins due to having the best razors that one could ever wish for. And the plan is set into motion! The judges assistant is there and says that he will be seeing Mr. Todd on Fleet street before the week is over. Huzzah!! 

Oh snap! The barber he had a shave off with has come for a visit to Fleet Street. And he won’t be returning to his shop. Bum, bum, bum. Mrs. Lovett then has a ‘brilliant’ idea. It’s a man eat man world, so in order to pick up business, how about man eat man? Right. Because who doesn’t want a nice meat pie made of the local priest? At least it’s Holy. If you need a shave on Fleet street, you’re probably going to lose your neck for it. 

MEANWHILE. Anthony,you remember Anthony right, the jolly good friend that accompanied Mr. Todd on his way back to London? Well he has found a beautiful girl by the name of Johanna who has been locked away in a room. His mission is to rescue her from that room. Did you guess this part? Johanna is Mr. Todds long lost daughter!! 

So here’s the thing, if I tell you much more, it’ll be giving away the movie. And I’m not going to do that. Because if you want to watch it you should be just as surprised as I was. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Qq4bJvoQJM << Second catchy song. Hopefully the link works

Thoughts

This was a really great movie. I’m not a fan of the gore and the unnecessary killings. But since that’s the premise of the movie, ya get whatcha get. I admit that I had to pause it a few times in order to prep myself for what I knew was about to come. ...and I may have watched a few scenes through squinted eyes. But as I said,great. And with a very surprising twist. 

My favorite thing about the movie? Johnny Depp. I’m a fan. Big fan. He’s such a versatile actor. MTV did well with honoring him at the movie awards this year. I’ll pretty much watch anything with him in it. Second favorite things were all the supporting actors. Fun little fact. I’m a huge Harry Potter fan. And this movie had 3 HP actors in it. Snape played the Judge, Wormtail was the judges assistant and Bellatrix was none other than...Miss Lovett! Yippee! The even better thing is that all of these actors were also in Alice in Wonderland together. I love it when things like this happen. And did you know that all of the above could sing?? I sure didn’t. It was a delightful surprise. They’re great.

 That was my only fun fact that I could give. Im sorry if you were hoping for more. 

 The musical talent in the movie was awesome. I don’t know if actors to play characters could have been picked much better. I say that, but I think that Timothy Spalls character could have improved. His character didn’t develop into anything really, just played an awesome supporting role. And I wish that he didn’t have that gross hair. 

Well now I’m just getting picky. 

First New Movie Monday post, so I’m sure that they will get better. Bear with me, I’m also rushing through this one because, I failed to do my quiz and exam before starting it. And then the boys and I went to the pool. Time to cram and hopefully get a good grade.

Stay Tuned.

Shelby 

New Movie Monday

Due to the fact that I am a movie feign, I have decided to introduce a new segment of the blog; New Movie Monday! Yes I know that this blog is still fairly young in its age and that I haven't been paying much attention to it, but you have to give me a break. I work to entertain kids all day long and then I do school work and occasionally throw in a job for my sorority. 

Anyways, I'm super excited about this! It gives me something to do and then a place to share my thoughts about the things that I have viewed. 

So here's how it's going to work: 

 1)Every Monday I will watch a "”new to me”" movie. This may entail something that has recently come out in theaters or a movie that has been sitting on my shelf begging for me to take the plastic wrap off and finally watch for once. Yep, I have lots of those. 

 2)Posts will come out on Tuesdays. Hopefully. As I mentioned, I'm kind of busy...

 3)All thoughts and comments are my own. So don’t get cray-cray and start thinking that I’m stealing things or putting words in other peoples mouths. You be trippin yo. 

Hopefully this section of the blog will help broaden your movie interest.s That’s my personal goal. I hope to appeal to a wide variety of readers, meaning that I need to start watching a wide variety of movies. 

That’s all for now. I’ll be posting this weeks movie today, so be on the look-out. I’ll also do my best to announce what movie I’ll be watching the following Monday. That way if you want to watch it and comment on the post with your thoughts, you’ll be well prepared! Can’t wait to see what you guys think!

One last note, I’m still working on making my blog pretty. So bear with me. Hopefully it’ll be satisfactory by the end of the day. ...I should start on my exam and quiz for class before I get occupied with that. 

Peace and Love. 

Shelby